Through his debut album, Father (out 9 Oct), Izzy Heltai observes human relationships from dawn to dusk. There’s a special focus on what’s in-between the beginning and end, where the sinew of these complex bonds are woven. It’s a lot to take in for the 23-year-old artist, but his intimate interest in the topic at-hand makes for a precocious songwriter developing informed, heartfelt Americana. Releasing tomorrow (31 July), “The Stranger You’ve Become” is a perfect encapsulation of the heartfelt essence that makes Heltai’s work so compelling. Developing the song’s message was a cerebral process, as he attests in a statement to For Folk’s Sake.
At 7pm CST, Heltai will be perform an in-the-round at 7pm with Falcon Ridge via Twitch.
Heltai says:
When you feel like you intimately know someone – until you realize you never did.
An honest, kind, genuine person generally believes their interpretation of a world at face value. The majority of us choose to engage in the realities of other people with the best of intentions, not wanting to deceive. We aren’t faced day to day with the reality of how malleable our words and truths can actually be.
Our realities are just collectively agreed-upon terms, rules, and conditions. The fact that I can look at a rubber duck, point to it, and claim that it is a rubber duck is only possible because we have all agreed that that is in fact what the physical object is.
But what happens if someone comes along, points at that same object and tells you with absolute certainty that you’re wrong, and that object is indeed a hat? If no one else is there to tell you otherwise, who are you to believe that your interpretation of this object is based in more truth then theirs?
This situation is commonly coined as “gaslighting,” a term originated from the 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton titled Gaslight. A quick Google search and brief skimming of the Wikipedia page will yield this synopsis:
“The play’s title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home, while pretending nothing has changed, in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions.”
When you’re intimately involved with someone, it is often difficult or nearly impossible to identify when this is happening. When you finally get out, it can be earth-shattering. The idea that you’ve been with a stranger, that you’ve been tricked. It’s a type of trust that can be extremely difficult to recultivate.
“The Stranger You’ve Become”
Get off your phone
Get off this park bench
Get out the road
She’s coming to drive you mad
And if you go home
Tell her it’s all you have
But it’s too much
And you should know that
I never wanted you to change
I want my friend back
And not the stranger you became
And I just don’t know if
I can stay here
Everyday
You’ve been fighting with yourself again
And I blame myself again
Crash your old car
Into a snowbank
Get out your guitar
It’s time that you sang that song
You wrote her last fall
When winter was just a distant dream
And you should know that
I never wanted you to change
I want my friend back
And not the stranger you became
And I just don’t know if
I can stay here
Everyday
You’ve been fighting with yourself again
And I blame myself again
Again
Maybe this time we’ll figure this out
Thought I
Could stand there
And be your solid ground
But I’m cracking
And I
Don’t know what to do
Tell me we’re fine
Tell me it’s alright
That we’re gonna try
But you’re getting much too tired
To figure this out
And I can feel it in your face again
Your patience wearing thin
I’m being
Sensitive
Words by: Jonathan Frahm